Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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