my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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