clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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