I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
