Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
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You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
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We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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