you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
A bitchslap is in order.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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