I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
