Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It was confusing and full of hummus
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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