Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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