How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
