Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
