And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
