What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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