Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
