I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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