So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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