Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
