This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
