people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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