She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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