Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.