Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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