Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize