my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize