This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"