How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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