I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
