Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.

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  (812): Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support. http://tfl.nu/gdfj
  Replies (1) Good night (1774) Bad night (817)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.

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  (765): I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot. http://tfl.nu/lv0c
  Replies (101) Good night (1665) Bad night (4647)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.

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  (972): Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife. http://tfl.nu/0n10
  Replies (7) Good night (4710) Bad night (1206)
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  (585): View more from New York

  you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated

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  (585): you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated http://tfl.nu/r9p5
  Replies (11) Good night (5947) Bad night (1022)
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  (951): View more from California

  My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.

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  (951): My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit. http://tfl.nu/s2aa
  Replies (33) Good night (10673) Bad night (1371)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?

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  (618): Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth? http://tfl.nu/eljh
  Replies (9) Good night (1015) Bad night (5369)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason

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  (541): I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason http://tfl.nu/z5wn
  Replies (26) Good night (712) Bad night (1779)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life

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  (781): U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life http://tfl.nu/mfnn
  Replies (2) Good night (540) Bad night (808)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?

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  (503): Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week? http://tfl.nu/t1cs
  Replies (2) Good night (1389) Bad night (409)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.

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  (440): I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding. http://tfl.nu/u15s
  Replies (17) Good night (2254) Bad night (565)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.

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  (713): Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help. http://tfl.nu/jai4
  Replies (13) Good night (1911) Bad night (461)
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  (650): View more from California

  Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge

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  (650): Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge http://tfl.nu/undc
  Replies (8) Good night (1280) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (458): View more from Oregon

  And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.

  (458): View more from Oregon

  Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.

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  (458): And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him. (458): Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man. http://tfl.nu/z269
  Replies (3) Good night (1007) Bad night (376)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.

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  (623): There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence. http://tfl.nu/2ktx
  Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?

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  (707): I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going? http://tfl.nu/srmm
  Replies (6) Good night (295) Bad night (719)

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