Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails

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(704): she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails http://tfl.nu/8gop

Replies (9) Good night (619) Bad night (4155)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.

(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

thats a woman

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(709): she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her. (709): thats a woman http://tfl.nu/e6ls

Replies (10) Good night (1366) Bad night (1966)
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(210): View more from Texas

By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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(210): By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE http://tfl.nu/98pz

Replies (32) Good night (9346) Bad night (1150)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

This is why we're friends.

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(780): If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator. (1-780): This is why we're friends. http://tfl.nu/yp3s

Replies (7) Good night (4667) Bad night (1150)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was

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(314): Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was http://tfl.nu/b9m0

Replies (9) Good night (2521) Bad night (1133)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.

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(706): I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries. http://tfl.nu/bagw

Replies (2) Good night (1701) Bad night (955)
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(631): View more from New York

ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight

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(631): ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight http://tfl.nu/dytu

Replies (30) Good night (2784) Bad night (706)
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(806): View more from Texas

Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap

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(806): Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap http://tfl.nu/wtva

Replies (5) Good night (1447) Bad night (569)
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(623): View more from Arizona

It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station

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(623): It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station http://tfl.nu/4d6r

Replies (7) Good night (800) Bad night (463)
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(214): View more from Texas

I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.

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(214): I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/rah7

Replies (6) Good night (949) Bad night (548)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.

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(202): He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight. http://tfl.nu/npw7

Replies (14) Good night (599) Bad night (871)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.

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(405): And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere. http://tfl.nu/68wk

Replies (2) Good night (625) Bad night (493)
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(541): View more from Oregon

well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick

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(541): well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick http://tfl.nu/a9oc

Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (373)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.

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(505): Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who. http://tfl.nu/ct81

Replies (2) Good night (428) Bad night (799)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.

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(808): Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out. http://tfl.nu/dk9u

Replies (1) Good night (267) Bad night (501)

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