Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though

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  (917): sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though http://tfl.nu/3mr9
  Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (2039)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My first STD was from a foam party

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  (202): My first STD was from a foam party http://tfl.nu/z9i4
  Replies (10) Good night (813) Bad night (1429)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over

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  (570): She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over http://tfl.nu/astk
  Replies (8) Good night (2380) Bad night (690)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic

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  (917): She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic http://tfl.nu/5xzq
  Replies (37) Good night (5265) Bad night (1592)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes

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  (512): And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes http://tfl.nu/4ipy
  Replies (24) Good night (5403) Bad night (1598)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.

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  (734): I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense. http://tfl.nu/c4vr
  Replies (10) Good night (1224) Bad night (3049)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer

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  (203): Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer http://tfl.nu/j23z
  Replies (15) Good night (1684) Bad night (2343)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml

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  (507): The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it h http://tfl.nu/rzj1
  Replies (6) Good night (624) Bad night (2032)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told you I would

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend

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  (931): I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me. (480): I told you I would (931): I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend http://tfl.nu/o3w2
  Replies (7) Good night (2348) Bad night (706)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.

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  (512): We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents. http://tfl.nu/1dqy
  Replies (10) Good night (1687) Bad night (473)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.

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  (832): I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came. http://tfl.nu/1nw4
  Replies (8) Good night (1027) Bad night (477)
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  (646): View more from New York

  i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.

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  (646): i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks. http://tfl.nu/tt2c
  Replies (5) Good night (424) Bad night (693)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god

  (1-516): View more from New York

  You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!

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  (516): Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god (1-516): You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!! http://tfl.nu/q7xb
  Replies (4) Good night (850) Bad night (365)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.

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  (508): Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance. http://tfl.nu/togo
  Replies (0) Good night (487) Bad night (611)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead

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  (973): I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead http://tfl.nu/zr0a
  Replies (0) Good night (454) Bad night (262)

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