On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
