Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
