i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
