my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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