Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize