Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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