How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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