I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
