filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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