i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
