Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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