I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
