just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize