Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
