You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
