I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
smell my finger.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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