Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize