capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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