well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
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how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
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Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???