Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.

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  (541): we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people. http://tfl.nu/d8wc
  Replies (24) Good night (7366) Bad night (770)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...

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  (727): Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons... http://tfl.nu/8jcz
  Replies (16) Good night (4602) Bad night (986)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I could make treat bags

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  (785): Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson. (785): I could make treat bags http://tfl.nu/dekx
  Replies (104) Good night (6258) Bad night (765)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.

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  (647): Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer. http://tfl.nu/62rw
  Replies (14) Good night (3379) Bad night (1116)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay

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  (917): I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay http://tfl.nu/145k
  Replies (12) Good night (4117) Bad night (1169)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.

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  (989): in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/9a80
  Replies (14) Good night (1159) Bad night (4865)
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  (925): View more from California

  We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor

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  (925): We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor http://tfl.nu/cj2b
  Replies (8) Good night (2343) Bad night (1311)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.

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  (586): Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband. http://tfl.nu/u4p0
  Replies (3) Good night (3215) Bad night (528)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes

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  (386): I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes http://tfl.nu/04pj
  Replies (4) Good night (1077) Bad night (896)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.

  (1-585): View more from New York

  How high are you?

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  (585): Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies. (1-585): How high are you? http://tfl.nu/ixro
  Replies (6) Good night (2359) Bad night (474)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"

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  (727): I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe" http://tfl.nu/2m07
  Replies (7) Good night (1509) Bad night (686)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.

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  (+44): First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve. http://tfl.nu/g7kr
  Replies (2) Good night (454) Bad night (1076)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.

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  (719): And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing. http://tfl.nu/cuj5
  Replies (7) Good night (723) Bad night (418)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON

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  (971): you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON http://tfl.nu/6e6p
  Replies (8) Good night (2283) Bad night (318)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.

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  (203): I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life. http://tfl.nu/5rhf
  Replies (2) Good night (478) Bad night (336)

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