I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.