Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks

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  (210): Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks http://tfl.nu/5a6w
  Replies (5) Good night (7439) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.

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  (504): Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come. http://tfl.nu/6ryd
  Replies (75) Good night (5463) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.

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  (201): Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her. http://tfl.nu/wlqs
  Replies (26) Good night (5170) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'

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  (949): When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger' http://tfl.nu/z4iq
  Replies (23) Good night (5335) Bad night (1279)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.

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  (231): I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/7ezq
  Replies (9) Good night (3542) Bad night (1318)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Now he's lighting his socks on fire

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  (920): Now he's lighting his socks on fire http://tfl.nu/p3kv
  Replies (9) Good night (2843) Bad night (1301)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  we already have meals planned for the weekend.

  (1-864): View more from South Carolina

  SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.

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  (864): we already have meals planned for the weekend. (1-864): SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL. http://tfl.nu/xo3s
  Replies (13) Good night (5153) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.

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  (812): Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life. http://tfl.nu/sryf
  Replies (8) Good night (5493) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.

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  (306): I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious. http://tfl.nu/psu6
  Replies (3) Good night (1250) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.

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  (801): "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much. http://tfl.nu/4lhq
  Replies (15) Good night (934) Bad night (2517)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well

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  (641): Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well http://tfl.nu/dscc
  Replies (6) Good night (936) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?

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  (858): We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship? http://tfl.nu/s6j9
  Replies (7) Good night (1157) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.

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  (256): It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration. http://tfl.nu/toyt
  Replies (0) Good night (952) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just hope I don't wheeze during sex

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  (215): I just hope I don't wheeze during sex http://tfl.nu/q60s
  Replies (1) Good night (367) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.

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  (352): He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes. http://tfl.nu/iekj
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (176)

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