he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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