Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?

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  (310): The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know? http://tfl.nu/ihts
  Replies (7) Good night (1252) Bad night (1883)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.

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  (913): Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy. (1-913): You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you. http://tfl.nu/j71x
  Replies (26) Good night (2531) Bad night (622)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.

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  (204): It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker. http://tfl.nu/sreq
  Replies (8) Good night (3995) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  condoms and good judgment

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Can I buy both of those at the same store?

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  (614): Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice? (1-614): condoms and good judgment (614): Can I buy both of those at the same store? http://tfl.nu/qy9b
  Replies (0) Good night (4057) Bad night (648)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  dont u have athletes foot?

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  (214): so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings (1-214): dont u have athletes foot? http://tfl.nu/a028
  Replies (27) Good night (1248) Bad night (5710)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics

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  (724): Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics http://tfl.nu/hk15
  Replies (69) Good night (4395) Bad night (1595)
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  (760): View more from California

  when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.

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  (760): when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice. http://tfl.nu/5xpe
  Replies (21) Good night (7377) Bad night (1758)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.

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  (708): She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life. http://tfl.nu/33lt
  Replies (8) Good night (2748) Bad night (1722)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

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  (803): Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass? http://tfl.nu/vxrr
  Replies (16) Good night (1096) Bad night (2290)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week

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  (334): thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week http://tfl.nu/vfml
  Replies (13) Good night (3042) Bad night (909)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.

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  (940): Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line. http://tfl.nu/5wo4
  Replies (5) Good night (874) Bad night (1759)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number

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  (908): Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number http://tfl.nu/xbwx
  Replies (5) Good night (664) Bad night (1755)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.

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  (352): Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life. http://tfl.nu/37e0
  Replies (1) Good night (836) Bad night (380)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.

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  (641): Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever. http://tfl.nu/1kf9
  Replies (12) Good night (1435) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.

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  (407): I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober. http://tfl.nu/la4k
  Replies (5) Good night (819) Bad night (276)

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