I wish life had little blips of pornography
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here