What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.