At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
