I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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