Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
