Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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