i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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