yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
