Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
