Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
