it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
