the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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