yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize