man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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