Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
